Yoga & Ego: Learning to Lead Without Armor

For most of my life, I’ve led with my ego. Sometimes that ego has been loud, sometimes controlled, sometimes sharp. Often, it’s been necessary. As a Black male and an attorney, ego hasn’t just been about confidence; it’s been my armor. It’s how I’ve entered rooms where my competence was questioned before I spoke. It’s how I’ve claimed space before it was offered, spoken with certainty before being dismissed, and protected myself in environments that rarely reward vulnerability, protected myself in environments where I’m the only Black boy, protected myself in environments where I’m the largest in the room.

My ego helped me survive.

In many ways, it helped me succeed.

Yoga is what taught me to understand my Ego. Before yoga, I didn’t examine my ego. I relied on it. Ego looked like leadership, decisiveness, and control. It felt essential. But yoga was the place where none of that mattered. Titles didn’t follow me onto the mat. Confidence didn’t loosen my hips. Authority didn’t steady my balance. My body didn’t care who I was or what I’d accomplished.

Yoga met me where I was, and where I was included a lot of my ego. At first, it showed up as force. I pushed too hard, ignored cues, compared myself to others (especially people who didn’t look like me), and treated poses like challenges to conquer. I judged myself for resting. I got frustrated when things didn’t come easily. Yoga revealed something uncomfortable: how deeply my worth was tied to performance.

Over time, I noticed that my ego didn’t show up most in strength, but in resistance. Resistance to slowing down. To modify a pose. To begin as a beginner. Not being in control. Yoga quietly asked questions I wasn’t used to answering: Why are you forcing this? Who are you trying to impress? What happens if you soften? (svadhyaya; self-study)

Those questions followed me off the mat.

I began to see how often ego drove my leadership, like how quickly I armored up, how much I equated certainty with authority, how rarely I allowed myself to pause. Yoga didn’t eliminate my ego, but it gave me awareness. And awareness created choice. And if you know, there’s freedom in choice.

That distinction matters. There are still moments when I need to lead with ego. The world hasn’t suddenly become gentle or unbiased. The ego still has a role. But yoga taught me that ego doesn’t have to lead all the time. It can be a tool I pick up when needed, and set down when it’s not.

Yoga didn’t make me softer. It made me more honest. It taught me that strength and ease can coexist, that presence can be powerful, and that leadership doesn’t always require armor.

For someone who learned to lead with ego because he had to, learning when not to feels like freedom.